Generation X is such an enigma generation. They’re often accused of being apathetic and when they were young adults, slackers and unfocused which is a stereotype that does not accurately reflect the diverse experiences and attitudes of this generation. This notion most likely originated in the media and popular culture and of course the movie “Dazed and Confused” didn’t help matters. Generation X is a demographic cohort typically defined as individuals born between the mid-1960s and the early 1980s. They are often characterized as being independent, self-reliant, and resourceful, and are known for their skepticism of traditional institutions and authority. They are also seen as being more diverse and adaptable than previous generations. Some have described them as the “lost generation,” caught between the Baby Boomers and the Millennials, and facing a number of economic and social challenges. This is a generation that went to work at fifteen-years-old. Today older Gen X are nearing retirement and the rest of us are still paying off debts from twenty years ago made worse by the dot-com bubble, the great recession and the housing bubble. And, of course, increasing inflation from one year to the next without a match in wages.

If you go on TikTok or Instagram Reels you’ll find many videos of the Gen Xers talking about their latchkey childhoods, how their parents threatened them that if they’re bored they’ll find something for them to do (which usually involved cleaning) and that they were outside all day until the street lights came on. They also brag about how they didn’t worry about drinking water all the time like Gen-Z’s and millennials and, if they were thirsty, they would just get it out of the hose.  

I’m Generation X, born in 1975, one of five kids whose parents belonged to the Silent Generation. My mom was a schoolteacher, and my dad had a mechanic shop at our house. Even though my dad was technically home, I was still on my own for the most part because he was busy working and didn’t always pay attention to what I was doing or where I went when I got on my bike and didn’t come home for hours. I was cool with that. I had freedom. If my bike broke, he would fix it. And I was happy to be out on my bike all day and not get in trouble at home because if I was home and it looked like I wasn’t doing anything, my dad would find something for me to do and it usually involved some kind of laborious task.  

At the time I think most of my friends could agree that we were OK with our parents not being on our back, constantly hovering over us and asking a million questions like inquiring where we were all day or who we were hanging out with (because no matter who it was, they were not good enough). We figured the less they knew, the happier we would be. Because though they left us to our own devices, when they perceived any sort of negative in us or we did something bad, the criticism was heavy and the punishment swift. If our grades were good and the teachers didn’t call or the cops didn’t show up at the door, all was well. I’m definitely not saying our parents weren’t there for us, they definitely were. They did their best based on their own upbringing and their focus on work.

I think if anything rubbed off on us, it was the work ethic we learned from our parents. Which makes it so ironic we were deemed the lazy unfocused generation, so lost and aimless they gave us the name “X” because they couldn’t figure us out. When I say if I didn’t have something to do I’d be assigned a laborious task, I really was; I was on the roof applying tar to loose shingles, on the ladder painting the window frames, mowing the lawn, helping my dad by handing him tools while he fixed a transmission or whatever else needed fixing around the house. We did a lot as kids but most importantly we helped. We didn’t want to, but we did. And that in itself taught us a lesson that even if we don’t want to, it’s important to contribute.

I see Gen X’s work ethic in the workplace now. We are known for valuing a work-life balance and tend to prioritize our personal lives over our careers but from my vantage point I have been working since I was fifteen and work more on the weekends doing domestic tasks. I have seen some Gen X work past their end time, if overtime is offered, they take it, they help other departments and even work on days off by checking emails whereas millennials and Gen Z just seem to stay within the frame of their job descriptions and not give one percent more. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, because no one really owes a company any extra part of their life. As someone who is trying to get off the hamster wheel, I envy that attitude.

When we were on our own as kids, we learned responsibility and learned our lessons by actually doing them and living through them instead of reading about it. We all watched after each other too and could maybe be blamed for the reason Millennials and Gen Z sink below the couch when the doorbell rings. We literally didn’t trust anyone. We didn’t have caller ID either and if our parents weren’t home, we didn’t answer the phone. Some families even had a code ring where parents would ring twice, hang up and call back again to signal the kids it’s one of the parents calling and it’s safe to answer. When caller ID did come along, it was the rich kids who had it.

Because many Gen Xers claim they were left to their own devices and didn’t have their emotional needs met or their feelings validated, most made sure that their kids didn’t grow up feeling the same way. They made sure that their kids had somebody in the house when they got home from school if they could, gave them snacks, made sure somebody was there to pick them up from school instead of them taking the late bus home if they had a softball practice and actually attending their games instead of dropping them off and going home. Gen X recognized their kid’s efforts by giving them participation medals because life is hard, doing new things isn’t easy and being judged for not being awesome sucks. We know that all too well. Effort counts, why shouldn’t it?

When I think back to when I was a teenager and I would come crawling in at 2 AM after hanging out with friends, my parents never once asked where I was or what I was doing. Not everyone had a cellphone in the early 90’s, so it’s not like they could call me and track me down. It’s mind-blowing to me whereas now I freak out if my nineteen-year-old doesn’t answer his cellphone at 9 PM.  At the time I was cool with that, but now I think back and I’m like “WTF”. I don’t think it’s because they didn’t care, I would like to think it was because they trusted me.  And maybe a lot of Gen Xer’s parents trusted their kids but that was a critical mistake, most were definitely out doing illegal things and rarely getting caught.

Gen X grew up learning real-life conflict resolution by managing the school bully on their own whereas the younger generations have the benefit of their Gen X parents confronting the schools about bullies and questioning policies. We dealt with so much on our own we didn’t want our kids to live through the same. My son tells me I ask too many questions and he’s often told me to “get off his ass”.  What he doesn’t know is that as an adult, looking back on my childhood, I think it would have been nice if my parents showed any real interest in me as a teenager. They literally never looked at my report card when I got to high school. Never asked if I needed help with schoolwork or commented on any project I was working on. I remember one day my dad commented how I always got up on my own and got to school without any hassle. Well, no shit, if I didn’t get to school, I’d never hear the end of it. Yet, all of this helped shape my sense of self-reliance and desire to be autonomous and especially my awkwardness of being praised; it’s because I don’t believe it’s genuine. That is definitely a Gen X issue, receiving praise graciously.

Generation X is often accused of not getting involved in anything and taking on  a “not my problem” attitude, but that’s not true, at all. Generation X came to age at the end of the Cold War, grew up in a time of  corporate greed, saw their parents get laid off and maybe even divorced, watched the Challenger explosion live on TV in school and saw America lose the world title as the most prosperous country. Yet, in technology, Generation X has produced many influential figures such as Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Page, and Sergey Brin who have changed the way we interact and consume information on the internet with the invention of Facebook and Google. Of course we can’t forget the ultimate Gen X cynic, Julian Assange, the computer software designer who bravely exposed some of the government’s most top level secrets and of course, is still paying for it to this day. He certainly reinforced a generation’s distrust of authority.

In social movements, Generation X has produced influential activists such as Van Jones, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Rebecca Walker and Alicia Garza who have been instrumental in shaping important social and political conversations and movements around issues such as race, gender, and inequality. Not to mention that Generation X is the most diversified and accepting generation having grown up with family members who came out as they were coming up and having friends from mixed families which in turn has swayed policies towards a more equitable path even as religion continues to throw boulders in the way. Gen X still gets out the vote despite being smaller in number than both the Boomers and Millennials.

We are the first generation that knows what it is to live in an analog world and happily embrace a digital one. Millennials often eclipse Generation X when thinking of social media, but Gen Xers were the first to grow up with home computers and immediately took advantage of online communication. As teens and young adults, we socialized on online bulletin boards, LISTSERVs and Yahoo chat rooms. A Gen Xer can also be credited for founding MySpace and Twitter. Napster? We were all over that like the green on the grass we were smoking. No more cassette tape mixes and waiting to release the pause button when the song started on the radio. That’s why most Gen -Xers can name most songs just by the first note.  

Gen Xers lived for the music, our culture was the music. A person was defined by what style of music they listen too and many went through many phases. For myself, I loved it all. Gun’s N Roses, Bon Jovi, Madonna, Prince, The Beastie Boys, Depeche Mode, Sonic Youth, Bauhaus, Green Day, Run DMC and Joy Division. Not forgetting, Salt-N-Pepa, Pet Shop Boys, Blur, De La Soul, Pearl Jam, The Red Hot Chili Peppers and Nirvana. The list is endless, the diversity in music endless. And perhaps many of those bands and musical artists we listened to were created by late Boomers but Gen X claimed it as theirs and blew it up and they continue to embrace the music of the day by always seeking out the freshest musical artists, fashions and continue to embrace the newest technologies. Our generation will never grow old without a fight.

If you look at a Gen Xer in their forties compared to a Boomer when they were in their forties, the difference is striking. Take for example the cast of one of the biggest sitcoms of the 80’s “Cheers”. Most of those Boomer actors started that show in their 30’s but easily look like they could be in their upper forties or even early 50’s. And its often commented on social media that Gen Xers are aging differently. Yes, we are. We are benefiting from new technologies, advancements in skincare, new knowledge about nutrition and exercise and are embracing it all. We do not want to grow old and stodgy. And it’s only now that this Generation is being noticed for flying under the radar for so long and breaking apart the stereotypes handed to us in the 1990’s and we are not even “old” yet.

We are all at an age now where we notice the years fly by and know what is to work and not want to do that until we die. Especially with the official retirement age being pushed further away for us compared to the previous generation. We want to live life and most people in my generation I know are plotting ways to avoid the hamster wheel of death being left with only a few years after retirement. Most want to age at home and definitely don’t want to live in 55 plus communities, because were too cool for that.

Generation X is now at a point where the Boomers are aging out of CEO positions opening up the doors for them and the question will be do they even want them? Time will tell. For myself, even if I was qualified for such a position, it would be a no. Let the Millennials have it, it’s not my problem.

From your window, how do you see it?